Go out for a few beers with friends. . . totally seems harmless enough, right? It's a beautiful summer evening (albeit a mockery unto itself, since it only gets nice in Winnipeg when summer is reaching its death rattle. I digress. This blog is going to be more chock full of parenthetical references than a Henry James novel.)
Arrive at the local pub wearing some ridiculously unsuitable footwear. What can I say, it's summer, and it's one of the few times wearing 4 inch peep toe shoes won't immediately lead to pneumonia or death. Or both. So I can and WILL wear my ridiculous shoes. And I did.
Long story (made longer by validating my shoe choices) short, I looked half-way decent. And then, as luck would have it, the friend of my friend's boyfriend (my sister's friend's brother's aunt's cousin knew this guy who. . . you know), well, he turns out to be a pretty solid 7 out of 10. Cute, glasses, beard (kissing a dude with a beard is TOTALLY on my bucket list, no shit), beautiful teeth, sense of humor, good story teller. . . you know, decent boyfriend material. My interest is piqued.
I wait for it. Patiently, like a really demented jungle cat, I wait for the words. And sure enough, about 35 minutes into thinking this guy is totally awesome, and I could easily potentially pretend to be drunker than I am and make out with him in his car later. . . he drops the bomb. The "girlfriend" bomb.
My friend Patrick and I came up with a great concept for this bomb when used improperly. We call it "Boyfriend Tourets" and basically it occurs when you innocently ask to platonically hang out with someone, and they reply "I have a boyfriend/girlfriend!"
Thankfully, it did not come to an outburst, it just dropped casually into conversation. But immediately the reaction is all "dammit all, another one bites the dust."
And the lesson herein, as to "why I'm single"?
It is becoming clear that every guy I show any interest in already has a girlfriend.
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There's something about unavailable people that make them so damn attractive. Maybe that's why they're taken in the first place, though. Funny how those things work.
ReplyDeleteNo, I think it has more to do with the confidence of attached people. I've noticed it myself, the few times I've had boyfriends. Suddenly you're blissful, but totally unaware of outside interest. You're the proverbial flame to stupid, unattached moths, because you have the confidence of someone who has achieved attachment. Silly but true. The key to great success is to harness the confidence of being in a relationship, WHILE being single.
ReplyDeletePlayboy men know this ALL too well.
That's true. Confidence does scream HOT.
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