According to Cliched Pick Up Lines

Once, a few years ago when I was still in my typical early twenties need to go to bars on the weekend, and I thought I was really cool because I knew a bar where I never paid cover and was allowed in through the back door, I experienced a moment I'll never forget.

I was waiting in line to get my next drink, when a drunk guy about my age walks up to me and decided to address his opening statement directly to my chest.

"Nice rack." He slurred, not even pretending to look at my face.

I did a bit of a spit take, sans spit, and decided to give this drunk moron the benefit of my sense of humour.

"Uh, thanks?"

Humour, apparently, was not what this guy wanted, because he then followed up with, what will forever remain, the greatest and worst attempt at a pick up line I have ever heard.

"Can I jerk off on it later?"

Again, after momentarily reeling from this, I offer him the benefit of a much less cynical Ashley.

"Haha, uh, no. But that took guts to say, good job." I offered to shake his hand, and he rather indelicately tried to put it on his crotch, at which point I announced, "so, we're done here." And walked away.

In a less vulgar, but still hilariously stupid vein, my boss was recently on the East coast, taking a rather long ferry ride. She and a friend of hers were sitting on a bench, and she became curious about the cover of a book being read by a younger gentleman near by. She craned her neck, turned her head, did all that she could to see the cover stealthily, only to be spotted by the guy before she could.

He began to try having a conversation with her, which she wanted nothing to do with, and finally he insisted a friend of his move so he could sit next to her and then dealt this doozy of a line to her:

"So, I couldn't help but to notice you, noticing me."

She told me this story, and how he subsequently followed her all over the ferry, trying to chat her up, but I just couldn't get past that line. I was laughing to hard to get much more out of the story than that.