According to Nudity Proactivity

The other day, I established the concept of being "nudity proactive."

Basically, this is something that comes over me whenever I like a guy and deem that it is not entirely platonic or one sided. (Granted, normally even when I've decided this, it turns out later that it was, indeed, one-sided after all). The philosophy of nudity proactivity is this:

Try to look as good as possible naked BEFORE anyone actually has to see you naked.

There is a logic to this more than just general vanity. You see, when someone has been single as long as I have (I've made the numbers public in the past, no need to post them again), it becomes common to sort of. . . get lazy about things. There's a weird myth that girls in relationships let themselves go. I never found that. I always found I made much more of an effort to look good or stay fit when someone was going to be touching me constantly or appraising me without clothing on (did I just make myself sound like chattel? hmmm.) But whenever I'm single and without any real prospects, I sort of stop trying on the small stuff.

For a good example, my regular waxer, the lovely Khia, recently asked my best friend if I was okay, because it had been so long since I'd been in. You know things have gone to pasture when the girl who. . . erm. . . landscapes your garden?. . . in the Brazillian tradition?. . . NOTICES you've been absent.

Moreover, my exercise routines go by the wayside. And often, I'll go a few days without shaving my legs. Perhaps I won't brush my teeth on a Sunday if I'm not working. In other words, I'm sort of like a guy, haha.

Then, all of a sudden, someone will show up and I'll think "damn. . . I wouldn't kick him out of my bed for eating crackers." And then it dawns on you, that if he were to actually end up IN my bed, he'd probably realize that I'd actually been eating crackers there. And chips. And like. . . soup and stuff. I like to eat in my bed, what can I say?

And then it dawns on you further that: I haven't bought new underwear in easily 3 months. I haven't visited the aforementioned Khia in almost 7 months. (there WAS an unfortunate experiment with some Nair. . . and, well. . . never again.) I realize I haven't done a sit-up in like, 6 months, or used my elliptical in about 2. And it's because, to be honest, the actual prospect of having sex hasn't existed for probably 12 months. You let things slide.

So suddenly you meet this guy, and you're like "heck yes, hormone overload and bad decision making: here I come!" And then realize: "Cripes. . . would I actually WANT someone to see me naked right now?"

And with that in mind, nudity proactivity comes into play.

And because of the previous post. . . I'm going to go do some crunches.