According to the Jitters

No wonder I don't date.

I have a sort of blind date tonight, with a friend of a friend. Via text, dude seems pretty awesome. So all day today I'm having constant anxiety and sort of just want to hurl.

If I do, I guarantee a great blog entry tomorrow.

According to Vampire Vikings

I just told a guy I'm being set up with that one of the only reasons I watch True Blood is for Eric.

According to Gay/Straight Confusion

So, I love Adam Lambert. This isn't really a dirty little secret or anything, I mean I have a picture of him on my MacBook desktop, and 2 of his songs are in my iTunes top 100. But what, you may ask, does Adam Lambert have to do with me being single?

I thin the dude is sexy. And he's gay. See also: Glee's Jonanthan Groff; Neil Patrick Harris, etc.

This bad luck extends into my personal life. I have no gaydar. None. In fact, if I like a dude, chances of him being gay actually increase. A few months ago, I was chatting up a guy who I have mutual friends with and whom I thought was cute. We chatted on and off, but he never seemed too keen to agree to do anything with me. Finally one day I mentioned a friend of mine with the same name as his who I said would be perfect except he liked boys. To this the gent replied, "add me to that list." and I was like "ohhhhhhhh."

Maybe a week after this happened I was at a fancy schmancy event where I met cute guy who was so well groomed and well dressed that I made the foolish assumption that he was gay. We talked awhile, he mentioned he designed women's clothing and shoes I said "we should get married. It would be perfect, we could both see other men."

"Yea, except I'm straight."

Only to me could this happen. Further evidence of my need to never speak to any men.

According to My Boss 2

"Self respect and pride."


and thus the blog is back.

According to Ari Gold

I think it's safe to say I have unrealistic expectations about what I want in a man.

After having a dream the other night in which I was Ari Gold's new protegee on Entourage (it was the sexiest non-sex dream I've EVER had), I helped him determine Chris Klein was too wooden to act in a new book adaptation, and Ari made me an iTunes playlist of love songs to thank me. . . yea, I'm not sure about the deeper meaning either. . . well, I realized I have very strange standards.

I think real life Jermey Piven is kinda greasy and sleazy. But I can tell you with 100% certainty that if he was wearing a suit, carrying a Blackberry and was yelling at me? I'd totally hit that.



Is that weird? And what does that say about me?

According to "Spoke too Soon"

So, today I managed to firmly stick my foot in my mouth yet again.

I have this massive crush on my Purolator delivery man, whose name I genuinely don't know. Today he came to pick up a package and I attempted to find out if he was attached by asking if he has any plans for Thanksgiving. He provided no really helpful tidbits, saying he was going to his sister's.

He left and as he was out the door I said to my coworker "I love him."

That, of course was the exact moment he chose to walk back in the door.

According to MY Dumb Luck

As a follow up to last weekend's post about meeting a boy. . .

Boys suck.

He spent the whole weekend flirting with me, saying things like "I'm not having as much fun tonight" and then agreeing when I suggested it was because I wasn't with him. Giving me all sorts of signals in person. And then today I send him a text and say "so, a few weeks ago I met this cute guy, and I'm thinking about asking him to do something. Thoughts?"

His thoughts?

"I started seeing someone."